Nobody told me the Slim Shady do was out.
Silas came for the Cryptex, a protected puzzle-box which supposedly contains the whereabouts of Mary Magdalene's body. After holding everyone up at gunpoint, Silas is caught off guard by the back end of Sir Teabing's walking-stick, which incapacitates Silas long enough for The Da Vinci Coders to take him hostage and make a rapid escape before the police show up.
Putting myself in Robert Langdon's shoes, it's very hard to not imagine me having a moment of clarity and realizing how absurd everything has become. From becoming implicated in multiple murders, evading police in car chases, being held up at gun point two times and now holding a hostage, I'd be pressed not to reflect that my decision-making skills may not be up to par.
However, Robert Langdon is not a man to worry about small details such as these. No, he's got bigger fish to fry, he's got to unravel a 2000 year old mystery and time is of the essence.
Albino monk hostage in tow, the mystery-solving threesome make a getaway in Teabing's plane and get the their asses out of France before the French police come raining down on them. Once airborne, they figure out that their next point of interest is in England and change their flight path accordingly.
On course to England, the French police contact the London police services to apprehend the trio at the airport. However, they did not account on the pilot breaking various air-traffic laws and protocols (and probably losing his license in the process) and making a quick nip into a hangar, which buys Sophie and Langdon enough time to disembark the plane and hide in Teabing's car before the police get there.
Oh, and Albino monk as well. They managed to get him in the car too.
Off they go to Temple Church where effigies are scattered around in various poses. "A knight with his legs crossed means he has been to the Holy Land" says Teabing with confidence. Which is a cool piece of trivia, but incorrect. There are a lot of misconceptions regarding the cross-legged knights meaning, but the common understanding is that is signifies dignified reverence of the Christian Faith. Nothing about going to the Holy Land. If you've lived your life by The Book, then you get to have a relaxed-looking effigy.
Off they go to Temple Church where effigies are scattered around in various poses. "A knight with his legs crossed means he has been to the Holy Land" says Teabing with confidence. Which is a cool piece of trivia, but incorrect. There are a lot of misconceptions regarding the cross-legged knights meaning, but the common understanding is that is signifies dignified reverence of the Christian Faith. Nothing about going to the Holy Land. If you've lived your life by The Book, then you get to have a relaxed-looking effigy.
Once again, Silas the Albino Monk shows up out of nowhere with a knife. He takes Sophie hostage and demands the Cryptex. Remy enters with a gun and reveals himself to be working alongside Silas, he too demands the Cryptex.
What's this...like the third time that Robert Langdon has had a gun in his face?
With the Cryptex in his possession, Silas takes Teabing as a hostage and leaves Remy to finish Sophie and Langdon off. Divine intervention in the form of white doves flapping overhead distract Remy long enough for Sophie and Langdon to make an escape. Curses, foiled again by those damn doves.
Remy cuts his losses and heads off in the car with Silas and Teabing as a hostage. It's at this point that Remy reveals himself to Silas as "The Teacher", an orchestrator and coordinator of the coverup plan. Remy and Silas part ways and it cuts to a scene of Remy talking to the true "Teacher" who turns out to be none other than Teabing himself, who obviously murders Remy. Obviously.
Sophie and Langdon continue on their literal hunt for the Holy Grail after escaping near-death at the hands of Remy. Sophie honeypots a kid on the bus into letting them use his phone and with it they use Google to establish that they are actually looking for Isaac Newton who was buried by Alexander Pope and not literally "A pope" as they read it. So off they go to Westminster Abbey where Newton is buried.
Upon arrival and some clever detective work from Sophie, they discover Teabing there who reveals himself to be "The Teacher". He has been after The Grail for his own personal desires, being that he wishes to reveal Jesus' mortality to the world. It's at this point that he holds the two hostage and tries to intimidate Sophie into opening the Cryptex, which she is unable to do.
Open it!
Dude, I can't even solve a Rubik's Cube.
What's this...like the third time that Robert Langdon has had a gun in his face?
With the Cryptex in his possession, Silas takes Teabing as a hostage and leaves Remy to finish Sophie and Langdon off. Divine intervention in the form of white doves flapping overhead distract Remy long enough for Sophie and Langdon to make an escape. Curses, foiled again by those damn doves.
Remy cuts his losses and heads off in the car with Silas and Teabing as a hostage. It's at this point that Remy reveals himself to Silas as "The Teacher", an orchestrator and coordinator of the coverup plan. Remy and Silas part ways and it cuts to a scene of Remy talking to the true "Teacher" who turns out to be none other than Teabing himself, who obviously murders Remy. Obviously.
Sophie and Langdon continue on their literal hunt for the Holy Grail after escaping near-death at the hands of Remy. Sophie honeypots a kid on the bus into letting them use his phone and with it they use Google to establish that they are actually looking for Isaac Newton who was buried by Alexander Pope and not literally "A pope" as they read it. So off they go to Westminster Abbey where Newton is buried.
Upon arrival and some clever detective work from Sophie, they discover Teabing there who reveals himself to be "The Teacher". He has been after The Grail for his own personal desires, being that he wishes to reveal Jesus' mortality to the world. It's at this point that he holds the two hostage and tries to intimidate Sophie into opening the Cryptex, which she is unable to do.
Langdon steps up to the plate and offers a crack at it. He goes into super-autistic mode and start to visualize all the different combinations of letters relating to Isaac Newton. He cracks the code, does some amazing David Copperfield-like sleight of hand and pockets the note before sealing the Cryptex and saying he can't solve it.
Before Teabing can react to this, Langdon plays a little Bangkok Rules and throws the Cryptex in the air, making Teabing rush to catch it and drop the gun. The Cryptex landed on the ground and cracked, vinegar pouring out of it and tears pouring out of Teabing's face.
Detective Fache storms in at this point and arrests Teabing. He managed to figure things out for himself through his journey and only takes Langdon and Sophie down to the precinct for questioning. Their names have been cleared. What a fucking ride.
But it's not over because Langdon managed to Houdini the papyrus scroll.
The scroll directs them to Scotland, where they discover some hidden Da Vinci paintings and the place where Mary Magdalene's body once rested. They establish that Sophie is indeed part of Jesus' royal bloodline and she is a descendant of Christ. The rest of the Priory of Sion show up with some of Sophie's remaining relatives and they fill her in on further details and confirm Langdon's findings.
Sophie and Langdon part ways and Langdon figures out the poem which suggests that the body of Mary Magdalene has been beneath the pyramid at the Louvre all along. Funnily enough, the pyramid was the first thing Langdon noticed at the start of the movie and mentioned it's uniqueness.
From becoming an international fugitive to cracking the world's oldest riddle, Robert Langdon has done it all in the two and a half very long hours this movie takes. He evaded police, murderers, had multiple guns pointed at him and ultimately walked away from it all victorious and unscathed. All in all, it was a mighty quest which could have been avoided if he didn't take Sophie's message to heart, but in the end the risk was outweighed by the benefits of uncovering the world's biggest secret - that Jesus was just a carpenter.
Before Teabing can react to this, Langdon plays a little Bangkok Rules and throws the Cryptex in the air, making Teabing rush to catch it and drop the gun. The Cryptex landed on the ground and cracked, vinegar pouring out of it and tears pouring out of Teabing's face.
Detective Fache storms in at this point and arrests Teabing. He managed to figure things out for himself through his journey and only takes Langdon and Sophie down to the precinct for questioning. Their names have been cleared. What a fucking ride.
But it's not over because Langdon managed to Houdini the papyrus scroll.
The scroll directs them to Scotland, where they discover some hidden Da Vinci paintings and the place where Mary Magdalene's body once rested. They establish that Sophie is indeed part of Jesus' royal bloodline and she is a descendant of Christ. The rest of the Priory of Sion show up with some of Sophie's remaining relatives and they fill her in on further details and confirm Langdon's findings.
Sophie and Langdon part ways and Langdon figures out the poem which suggests that the body of Mary Magdalene has been beneath the pyramid at the Louvre all along. Funnily enough, the pyramid was the first thing Langdon noticed at the start of the movie and mentioned it's uniqueness.
From becoming an international fugitive to cracking the world's oldest riddle, Robert Langdon has done it all in the two and a half very long hours this movie takes. He evaded police, murderers, had multiple guns pointed at him and ultimately walked away from it all victorious and unscathed. All in all, it was a mighty quest which could have been avoided if he didn't take Sophie's message to heart, but in the end the risk was outweighed by the benefits of uncovering the world's biggest secret - that Jesus was just a carpenter.
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